Autistic Irish Woman Blog

Do you remember performing in your school plays? It doesn’t matter if it was a lead role or something as little as “tree number 2”, just take a moment to remember preparing for the role. The progress of getting the right clothes for your costume, learning your lines for scenes or musical numbers perfectly and getting the movement right. Have you ever felt exhausted after each performance? It might be fun for some, but imagine having to play that role 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. No intermissions, no days off and no curtain call. That you have to play this role not just for strangers but also for friends, co-workers and even your family members. You constantly have to play this character and if you fumble a line or step, you feel like people will boo you until you get back into character.

This was my experience with masking. For people that don’t know what it is, masking is when an Autistic person hides their Autistic traits to blend in so they can be more accepted in society. Like how stoats change their fur colour in the winter to blend into the snow to hide from predators, Autistic people mask to survive a non-autism friendly environment. With negative views of autism out there, prejudice and discrimination are likely in our lives. Even I had to mask for most of my teenage and early adult years for reasons like that. Didn’t matter what my education was, as soon as someone heard I was Autistic, I was treated like an idiot, even from people I once thought cared about me.

Things have improved since then. I have cut off toxic people that hurt my mental health, embraced people that truly love the real me and rediscovered who I am without masking. Of course, there are still challenges with how a lot of people have negative views of autism. Still, with support from people I love and courage, I hope I can prove those negative stereotypes are wrong, especially to those that think little of me. Change doesn’t happen overnight, but little by little it does. For anyone reading this, I want to say, be your amazing self and don’t let anyone make you feel horrible about yourself! I hope that even this little blog will help to give you the courage to take off the mask and be the real you someday.

An original is always worth more than a copy and it’s less exhausting too. It’s hard work, but it’s worth it to be true to yourself.